Crisis Alert!

Personal Crisis

Ben and I got married May of 2018 in Las Vegas, Nevada. We ended up moving to North Western Washington because my husband was working as a forest firefighter. In my ‘Marital Adjustments’ blog I previously talked about living in a pioneer house that was 30 minutes away from anything. My husband would leave weeks at a time to go on dispatches with his team. I was having such a hard time because I was lonely, depressed, and bored. Not until recently, I discovered that I was a little bit depressed over the summer. I would deny on going on outings with my in laws who lived 30 minutes away because I just wanted to sit on the couch all day. That behavior is not like me at all because I love to be active and social. At that point in my life I was going through a crisis and I did not even realize it.
I do not think I knew that I was depressed because my husband would always cheer me up when he got home. Ben would drive 40 minutes with me a few times a week so that we could go to my favorite ice cream place, Mallard’s, in Bellingham. My mother in law and sister in law would text me every day asking if I needed something and would always invite me to go hang out with them. My sister in law, Merry, would bring me treats that her mother bought me and it would make my day.
Looking back now I realize how important family is during a personal crisis. Some days over the summer I was so miserable and bored, but with the support of my husband and his family I got through it. You have to rely on your family during trials because they will always be there for you and will do anything to make you happy.

When my husband ended his job August 1st, I was super happy and couldn’t wait to move into our brand new apartment in Rexburg, Idaho. Once we moved to Rexburg my husband and I were having so much fun spending time together. Ben and I would play soccer and volleyball outside at the park for hours because it was so warm. We would also get frozen yogurt from the shop that is located across the street from our apartment and it was my favorite thing ever.
As the months went on it started to get colder and colder. I was not able to go on leisurely walks outside because the weather was in the negatives. The only time I went outside was when I walked to class or walked to the gym. In the winter months I normally spent at most 30 minutes to an hour outside. This is something that I am not used to and I absolutely hate the cold. I have lived in Las Vegas my whole life, so I have not gotten used to the snow.
In January my husband noticed that I was sad and over emotional for no reason. A few months ago I was as happy as I could get but now I felt terrible. I had no motivation to do school or anything except for watching television. My husband was worried about me so we talked to our parents about it. My mother and Ben’s mom mentioned that I might have seasonal depression, which I ended up having. My husband decided that he was going to do all that he could do to make me 100% happy. Ben took me to Michael’s craft store and bought me a bunch of crafts and paints. Ben also made sure that we went to the gym everyday because working out helps with seasonal depression. I realized that when I occupied myself with painting or working out then I felt much better, but when I was just sitting at home dong nothing I felt terrible. I wondered why I felt amazing for about 2 hours of the day, the the rest I was depressed. A few weeks ago I decided that I was going to be happy and have good thoughts because I did not want to feel depressed anymore. To my surprise it actually worked! You are in charge of your brain, your brain is not in charge of you. You decide how you decide to handle a crisis, the world doesn’t have to.